


I'll Treasure You Always

by Koujakuba



Category: DRAMAtical Murder - All Media Types
Genre: Aoba being so embarrassed he could die, Ficlet Collection, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Koujaku being dumb and saying weird things, M/M, Mentions of Sex, the title is really sappy on purpose - I promise~ [coughs], you know - the usual stuff you get from me
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-25
Updated: 2015-07-17
Packaged: 2018-03-15 04:42:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 12,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3433958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Koujakuba/pseuds/Koujakuba
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Little unrelated fics written from prompts and headcanons sent to me on tumblr gathered together to make this lil' KouAo ficlet collection.</p>
<p>Each of these have different ratings, so I "titled" each fic with its rating.<br/>Warnings (if any are needed) will be in the notes section of each chapter, and I will change the overall rating and add tags as needed~</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Rating: General

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted the sappiest title I could think of, ok. Pffft--
> 
> Also... I... I have no idea what I should put in the summary. S-sorry...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> nawtsoo said:
> 
> Koujaku went to pick up Aoba but he's late. Worried, he send him a message but Aoba calls him back in a scared voice that something happened to Haga-san! Koujaku rush in the shop and saw Aoba next to Haga whose on the floor. He thought Haga's injured but he was just having a bad fever. Once Haga is on his bed and rested, Aoba apologized for being emotional. It's just that seeing Haga collapsed reminded him when Tae got ill. He's scared of loosing someone close to him. Like how his parents left.

Aoba is a complete wreck. He keeps pacing back and forth, mumbling anxiously to himself. Koujaku keeps his eyes glued to him, very concerned and not even bothering to hide it. Eventually, he’s able to at least get Aoba to sit down, putting a comforting hand on the younger man’s shoulder. He notices Aoba is shaking and looking like he’s trying to hold back tears. Koujaku opens his mouth to offer words of comfort, but Aoba interrupts.  
  
“I’m… sorry…” Puzzled, Koujaku raises an eyebrow.  
  
“Why are you apologizing?”  
  
“Isn’t it… stupid for me to be acting this way? I mean—”  
  
“No, I don’t think so. It’s normal to worry about someone you care about, isn’t it?”  
  
Aoba nods and takes in a shaky breath, “I guess so…”  
  
And then it’s silent. Koujaku wants nothing more than to wrap an arm around him, place hundreds of kisses on the crown of his head, and tell him everything is going to be all right. But they’re still at Haga-san’s place – Aoba wanted to stay for a while in case he needed anything. Koujaku doesn’t know if Aoba’s told him about their relationship or not (would it be ok to be affectionate with Aoba here?) so he reluctantly settles for rubbing gentle circles into Aoba’s shoulder with his thumb.  
  
“I just…” Aoba begins, but quickly shuts his mouth again, biting his lip; Koujaku waits patiently for him to continue just like always. “I don’t… want to lose anyone else…” Koujaku’s eyes widen.  
  
“Aoba…”  
  
He’s not sure what to say. Of course that’s why Aoba’s so worked up – it seems like he worries more about that sort of thing ever since what happened with Tae-san (though, he’s always been that way, afraid of losing people, of being left alone, ever since his parents left… ever since Koujaku himself had to leave…). For now, Haga-san is just feeling unwell, so, as long as he gets plenty of rest, he’ll be back to his normal self in no time. He’s going to be fine this time, but there _will_ eventually come a day when he…  
  
But Koujaku’s definitely not going to talk about that. But what should he say?  
  
He’s unable to arrive at an answer to that question, so, he takes a deep breath and pulls Aoba into a tight hug, knowing without a doubt that Aoba is going to yell at him for doing it.  
  
But he doesn’t. Instead, he presses his face into Koujaku’s shoulder and accepts the gesture. And soon, Koujaku can feel a wetness soaking into the shoulder of his kimono.


	2. Rating: Teen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> anonymous said:
> 
> Headcanon that Aoba actually has a "special box" in his closet. One day Koujaku was helping him get things ready so they could move in together and Aoba went downstairs to do something. Koujaku found the box and peked inside, finding lube, magazines with guys and girls in theme, and a big, purple, vibrating dildo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> T-to be honest, I'm not actually sure if this one should have a "Teen" rating or a "Mature" rating (because there are sexual references but they aren't really graphic?). OTL Please let me know if I need to change it~

What is this suspicious-looking box (though, in reality, it isn’t all that suspicious-looking, it’s actually rather plain)? And why was it hidden so far in the back of Aoba’s closet? He turns it around in his hands a few times, taking note of the sounds of the objects inside banging against the sides. Maybe he can guess what it contains just by the sounds it makes? Unsurprisingly, he fails.  
  
Should he open it? No, definitely not – he shouldn’t even ask himself that. He sets the box back into Aoba’s closet.  
  
But he can’t stop staring at it.  
  
One little peek won’t hurt, will it?  
  
He sighs, shaking his head; he’s definitely going to get yelled at for doing this. He carefully takes off the lid and…  
  
Magazines. Nothing strange about that. Rolling his eyes, he mentally scolds himself for being so—  
  
Wait a second… Those aren’t _just_ magazines, they’re… pornographic magazines? He quickly thumbs through them, finding that they’re filled from cover to cover with both guys and girls doing all sorts of lewd things. He’s about to start laughing when something else catches his eye. A little bottle of what appears to be lube and—  
  
What the hell is _that_?  
  
His eyes widen when he spots a large, purple… dildo? It appears it can even be set to “vibrate.” Why would Aoba have something like that? And then he realizes something.  
  
Aoba uses these things. _On himself_.  
  
His mind begins to wander, imagining Aoba flipping through these dirty magazines, while thrusting that big dildo in and out of his own ass — the ass that he prepared with _this_ lube and _his own fingers_. An image of Aoba pleasuring himself, panting and moaning, pops into his head. And then he absentmindedly begins to wonder if Aoba ever touches himself while thinking about him and—  
  
Oh shit.

 _He’s hard_.

And… oh shit, it sounds like Aoba is coming back. Koujaku panics and tries to shove everything back into the box where it belongs, deciding he’s going to try to forget he even found the thing (even though that’s impossible now), before carefully setting the box back in its place in the closet, practically falling onto Aoba’s bed just as he walks back into the room. He tries his best to look normal, like he never found that box, like he wasn’t just imagining Aoba doing things to himself.  
  
But, of course, he fails.  
  
“Koujaku? What’s wrong? Your face is all red…”  
  
There’s no way he’s going to tell Aoba why that is. As long as Aoba doesn’t look down towards his lap, everything will be fine… Normally, he wouldn’t mind, he’d even initiate things himself, but Tae-san is right down the stairs.  
  
Silently, he keeps begging for Aoba not to notice his “predicament.” But he knows that’s not going to happen – Aoba is definitely going to notice eventually…


	3. Rating: Teen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ariofthesea said:
> 
> Kouao things, you ask? Well then OKAY! How about Kouao going to a hotel with a private open air bath (kinda like in the drama CD), except this one can fit two? It starts with them reminiscing about going to an open air bath as kids, they play around like kids, and that soon warps into sexy times?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Koujaku is really dumb and ends up with a predicament in his pants... that he isn't actually wearing, and implied going-to-do-sex.
> 
> Also, you should totally read ariofthesea's [AU post](http://ariofthesea.tumblr.com/post/112012121835/while-reading-the-wonderful-ficlet-by-koujakuba). Yup.

There’s enough room for both them to stretch out as much they need and do practically whatever they want. But, of course, Koujaku doesn’t care. He’s seated right next to Aoba, an arm curled around his waist, holding him securely – Aoba’s not sure if his face is so hot because of the temperature of the water or Koujaku being… well, himself.  
  
“This is nice…”  
  
“Well, it would be if you weren’t making me feel so cramped…” is what Aoba _wants_ to say. But, in reality, he’s not uncomfortable at all, it’s just the stubborn part of him wanting to put up a fight. Instead, he swallows hard and mutters a soft, “Y-yeah…”  
  
“It’s even better with you here~”  
  
“Y-you—” It’s definitely Koujaku that’s making his face so hot. He lets out a long sigh, he’s not going to let Koujaku bother him this time. “Hippo…” He hears Koujaku chuckle and he rolls his eyes.  
  
“Hey, Aoba?”  
  
“What is it now?”  
  
“Do you remember the last time we got to go to an open air bath like this together – when we were kids?” Was that something that had happened? He thinks hard about it, trying to remember; he thought he’d only been to an open air bath with Granny. Koujaku seems to notice his struggles, so he keeps talking, “It wasn’t like this though – it was a big, public bath; my mother and Tae-san took us.” Aoba makes a thoughtful humming sound, still trying hard to remember – there are very vague memories of something like that floating around in his head, but… “You seriously don’t remember?”  
  
“I… think I… kind of remember?”  
  
“Aobaaa… I’m a little disappointed you don’t remember it, we had so much fun that day…” the tone of Koujaku’s voice makes him feel a little bad.  
  
“Sorry…”  
  
“It’s all right – I remember it really well, so I’ll remind you.” Aoba nods, wondering if this is going to be an actual memory or one of Koujaku’s weird stories he makes up just to mess with him. “We were running around the entire place, playing together. It was probably really bothering the other people there, we were so noisy… I think Tae-san even yelled at us a few times.”  
  
Aoba feels a little strange listening to this story, one about the two of them, but it sounds like it’s about someone else. It does sound like them though, especially the part about Granny yelling at them for being too noisy. He keeps quiet and continues to listen.  
  
“Honestly, it’s surprising they didn’t end up throwing us out – maybe the people there thought we were too cute to throw out~” Aoba rolls his eyes at that statement. “Anyway, I remember you kept splashing water into my face…”  
  
“You probably deserved it.”  
  
“Maybe… As soon as I did it to you though…” Aoba definitely doesn’t like the smile spreading across Koujaku’s face, “you started crying and saying I was trying to drown you.”  
  
“I feel like you’re lying now…”  
  
“I’m not, I promise.” Aoba isn’t certain he believes that, but he decides to keep listening anyway. “The only way I could get you to stop crying was to let you push me into the water. I remember because I got water up my nose and I thought _I_ was going to drown.”  
  
“If that really happened… we were a couple of strange kids…”  
  
“It really happened. It’s a precious memory for me so I remember it clearly. Just as clearly as that time you made me a birthday cake~”  
  
Hearing that, Aoba grumbles to himself. Koujaku sure has some weird stories from their childhood, all sorts of happy memories, memories they supposedly share. And yet Aoba has trouble remembering most of them, and that honestly makes him feel sort of sad – it’s not the first time Koujaku has told him about something he doesn’t remember, or even the second or third.  
  
So many happy memories that he can’t even remember…  
  
“H-hey, Aoba— What’s wrong?”  
  
Without even realizing it’s happening, he’s silently crying. How… stupid… Maybe he really was a crybaby when they were kids, just like Koujaku always teases. Maybe he’s _still_ a crybaby.  
  
Frustrated with himself, he raises a hand to wipe away the tears, but he stops when he feels Koujaku’s hand on his chin, turning his head to face him and place a gentle kiss to his forehead.  
  
“Aoba, it’s all right if you don’t remember; I’m sure there are things you remember that I don’t. After all, it’s been a long time since we were kids… it’s natural to forget some things.” Aoba nods, maybe he’s right. He still feels bad for not being able to remember these things though. It’s a little embarrassing when Koujaku leans in and starts kissing his cheeks, kissing away his tears – it’s actually a little… cheesy… “Really, it’s all right – do you need me to cheer you up?” Aoba shakes his head, Koujaku has already managed to cheer him up enough.  
  
“No, I’m fine…” he’s about to apologize for the way he’s acting, for crying, feeling stupid about it, but Koujaku speaks up again.  
  
“Ah… that’s a shame… Do you want to know how I would do it?”  
  
Aoba says nothing, not entirely sure where Koujaku is going with this. Finally, Koujaku unwraps his arm from around Aoba’s waist, turning just enough to cup Aoba’s face in his hands. Soft kisses are pressed to Aoba’s lips, his chin, his cheeks, even his nose, each one growing slightly more intense, and it gives him a pretty good idea where Koujaku’s train of thought has gone. Eventually, the kisses cease and he pulls away, looking Aoba straight in the eye.  
  
“I’d tenderly make love to you and hold you until all the bad feelings go away…”  
  
Oh. _God_.  
  
Without even thinking about it, without even knowing if Koujaku is serious or not, Aoba’s hands are on Koujaku’s chest to shove him away. “Y-you’re so—” Again, he doesn’t think, he just reacts, using both hands to splash a large amount of water at Koujaku’s face.  
  
“Oi…! You—” Rather than looking irritated, Koujaku has a mischievous look on his face. And suddenly Aoba has a face full of water. He’s about to retaliate but Koujaku moves faster, grabbing his wrists, holding them in one hand and…  
  
…Uses his other hand to attack Aoba’s ribs…  
  
Aoba writhes and squirms, trying desperately to free his hands to push Koujaku away, barely able to breathe as laughter keeps forcing its way out of his mouth.  
  
“K-Koujaku! No— S-stop…!” Since he can’t use his hands, he tries using his feet, but at some point, Koujaku positioned himself between Aoba’s legs – he’s too close to push him away with his feet. He has no way to defend himself, completely at Koujaku’s mercy.  
  
But, not long after that, he stops, and Aoba is able to catch his breath, panting hard, his face flushed. Koujaku is staring really hard though, his eyes are wide, and he swallows. Eventually, he turns his face away and… is that a blush?  
  
“Y-you— I’ve told you doing that isn’t fair – especially since _you’re_ not even a little ticklish—”  
  
And then Aoba becomes aware of the position they’re in. At some point during his reckless squirming, his legs have wound up wrapped around Koujaku’s waist, and he’s practically in his lap. And they’re both naked, of course. It seems like Koujaku has a certain “problem” as well, he can feel it brushing up against his ass…  
  
Oh. So that’s why Koujaku seems to be having trouble looking him in the eye.  
  
“You’re so… stupid—”  
  
“I-it’s your fault I’m like this right now… if you weren’t so damn cute—”  
  
Aoba sighs and wiggles his wrists out of Koujaku’s grasp, raising them to wrap loosely around his neck. “If you want to…” he bites his bottom lip, his face heating up rapidly as he tries to figure out what he wants to say, “we can… do it here…” Finally, Koujaku turns to look at him, eyes a little wide. “B-but only if you don’t do something to make me… make loud sounds…” It was nerve-wracking the last time they stayed at a hotel together, he still has no idea if anyone in the other rooms heard what happened then. No one said anything, no one looked at them strangely the next day, so maybe it was fine… But still, it was terribly embarrassing.  
  
Koujaku smiles and lets out a light chuckle, and, somehow, it makes Aoba a little nervous.  
  
“I can’t make any promises~”


	4. Rating: General

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> anonymous said:
> 
> Aoba comes home (Koujku's apartment) to find him arguing with a woman, and in the corner a little girl with a familiar tan, nice hair, and ruby red eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh... Anon asked for a thing I think about _a lot_ so this one... um... [coughs] ended up a little long and I may or may not have started crying a little bit probably but no one has to know that. I just... _KouAo daddies_... (Also, I'm sorry if the stuff at the end is kind of... awkward? I just... I wanted to write a lil' bit about them being a family but I didn't want it to turn into this reeeeally long thing, ok.)

Koujaku always tells Aoba he’s welcome to just go inside his apartment regardless of him being there or not (always saying something like “That’s why I gave you a key, silly,”), so that’s what he always does. It made him a little uncomfortable at first, feeling like he was doing something he shouldn’t be even though he knows he has explicit permission to do it, but, eventually after doing it so many times, he’s gotten used to it and it doesn’t bother him as much.  
  
Standing in front of the door to the apartment, he rummages around in his bag for a little while, trying to find the key that always manages to lose itself inside his bag, before pulling it out and reaching to unlock the door. He freezes, holding his breath, feeling like his heart has stopped when he hears a strange voice.  
  
A woman’s voice.  
  
He quickly tries to keep himself from assuming the worst, shaking his head and slowly letting out the breath he’s holding. Koujaku would never betray him, he’s been assured of that multiple times by now. Maybe it’s just one of Koujaku’s more persistent fans, one that refuses to take “no” as an answer to her advances towards him – that has happened more times than Aoba can count.  
  
But… listening closer gives him the feeling that that isn’t the case this time. When it’s one of Koujaku’s fans, the woman’s voice is more high-pitched and shaky, like she’s crying, while she begs and pleads for Koujaku to go out with her, saying things like: “You never used to reject me before!”  
  
No, this time is definitely different, this woman’s voice is angry, strong – maybe she’s not one of Koujaku’s numerous fans. Every now and then he hears Koujaku’s voice cut in too, sounding calm and stern. Even though he’s able to hear them, he can’t quite make out what either of them are saying. He begins to wonder if he should still go inside or come back later, berating himself for thinking that because what if Koujaku is in need of his support right now?  
  
He probably looks pretty silly standing in the hall by himself (Ren is with him, of course, but as soon as he entered the building Ren curled up in his bag and went to sleep) with his arm still stretched out to unlock the door anyway… It’s probably not even locked this time either.  
  
He shakes his head, mentally preparing himself for whatever is going to happen once he goes through that door before carefully opening it, stepping inside quickly and quietly. The woman’s back is facing him and Koujaku isn’t standing very far away from her; somehow, it seems neither of them notice the addition of another person.  
  
“…would have been there for her if I had known about her.”  
  
Koujaku is mid-sentence when he enters, so he’s still unsure of what the two of them are talking about.  
  
Aoba stands in the entryway sort of awkwardly, should he announce his presence? Not that he even has a chance to say anything, as soon as he opens his mouth the woman is speaking again, just as angrily as before.  
  
He’s unable to actually pay attention to what she’s saying though because something catches his attention and makes his eyes widen.  
  
A little girl. A little girl (who can’t be older than 3 or 4 years old) with a familiar tan skin tone, equally familiar dark hair, and ruby red eyes stands in the middle of the room with tears in her eyes, staring directly at him.  
  
He has a pretty good idea of what’s going on now.  
  
He keeps staring back at her, the sudden shock preventing him from focusing on the heated exchange (the “heated” part being one-sided, but still…) happening in front of him, the words becoming muddled and unintelligible to him, like the people involved are speaking while underwater. Without even needing to be told, he knows who that girl is, it’s painfully obvious.  
  
That is definitely Koujaku’s child.  
  
It’s no secret that he used to sleep around a lot… but for a child to come from that? Well… it’s not an unlikely thing to happen, but it is hard for Aoba to wrap his head around.  
  
He can’t help but notice how scared and uncomfortable she looks, confused, miserable, it’s all portrayed in those big eyes of hers, eyes that aren’t unlike Koujaku’s when he was a child (giving Aoba an inappropriately-timed feeling of nostalgia). He wants to call her over, get her away from the argument happening just above her head, but, even though his mouth is open (he was unable to shut it after the shock of who she is hit him), unfortunately, he can’t bring himself to say anything.  
  
He’s not sure when it happened, but things are suddenly quiet, and he finally tears his gaze away from the little girl to look back to the woman and Koujaku. He hears her mutter something along the lines of: “she’s your problem now,” before abruptly turning around, bumping into him as she storms out of the apartment, leaving Koujaku with a horrified expression, eyes wide, and his face a little pale.  
  
And she left the little girl behind.  
  
Because of her parting words, he can feel anger bubbling up in his chest. How could that woman just abandon that girl like this – isn’t she her mother? The feeling of being abandoned is a feeling he’s not unfamiliar with… so he can understand how she must be feeling right now.  
  
And what about Koujaku? How is he handling this situation? He looks back to Koujaku who seems to have finally noticed he’s standing there – the look on his face practically screaming “What the hell am I supposed to do about this?” It’s a little worrying; it seems like Koujaku always knows what to do about everything… but now…  
  
He just looks so lost.  
  
Aoba takes a deep breath and finally approaches him – he’s not sure what to do either, and he’d like to offer words of comfort but he’s not sure what he should say either. If Koujaku decides to take her in and raise her, he’ll be there for him; if he decides it would be best to put her up for adoption, he’ll be there for him. Whatever Koujaku decides to do about this, he’s going to be there for him, by his side the entire time, supporting him and helping him in any way he can.  


* * *

  
  
In the end, Koujaku decided he would take care of her, saying that he should take responsibility. He was happy (and obviously very relieved) when Aoba told him he’d help out to the best of his ability.  
  
And it didn’t take very long for the two of them to grow attached to her.  
  
Of course, neither of them had the slightest idea how to raise a child, so, luckily Granny’s there to help out too, always muttering about hopeless, idiot grandchildren whenever they come to her. Despite always saying that, Aoba can tell that she’s happy to help. Back when he finally built up the courage to tell her about his and Koujaku’s new relationship, she made a comment about being a little sad that she wouldn’t get any great-grandchildren, but she would be happy if Aoba is happy. Since the girl was left at Koujaku’s place, they’ve spent many days together, weeks even, and she’s even started to Aoba “dad” (Koujaku is “daddy”), so, in the end Granny got her wish for a great-grandchild in a way. The little girl has even started to call her “Granny” (Aoba swears he can see a smile appear on Granny’s face whenever the girl calls her that).  
  
In the beginning, the girl was quiet, rarely ever saying anything at all, but she was eventually able to warm up to them. They were able to learn that the woman who brought her to them was not her mother, she was her aunt, and that the girl, her mother, and her aunt all lived together on the mainland (she also quietly mentioned that her aunt wasn’t very nice to her most of the time, saying she felt like the woman hated her). The three of them traveled to Midorijima to seek treatment for an illness her mother had (the girl didn’t know what type of illness it was, all she knew was that her mother was sick), but, unfortunately, her mother passed away shortly after they arrived.  
  
Koujaku went completely silent when she told them that.  
  
She seemed to notice the change in him, innocently asking, “Was your mommy ever sick?” At first, Koujaku didn’t say anything, and Aoba thought he should try to change the subject, try to get the little girl to think about something else. But Koujaku surprised him and answered.  
  
“Sometimes.”  
  
“Where is she now?” As soon as the words left her mouth, Aoba froze. But Koujaku surprised him again.  
  
“She’s gone; she… died…”  
  
Aoba thought the girl would continue her questions, ask how or when she died. But she never did, blowing him away instead with a different kind of statement.  
  
“Maybe my mommy and Daddy’s mommy are friends now.”  
  
Koujaku had to leave the room for a while after that.  
  
Despite being forced upon each other, it doesn’t take too long for the little girl and the two of them to grow to love each other. Slowly but surely, they’re learning how to be a family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **UPDATE** : This one ended up becoming its own AU~ If you like, you can send stuff about it (i.e. "what if" scenarios, questions, etc.) to [me](http://koujakuba.tumblr.com) and/or [mofspades](http://mofspades.tumblr.com)! Also, my tag for it on tumblr is [KouAo Daddies AU](http://koujakuba.tumblr.com/tagged/KouAo%20Daddies%20AU/chrono)~


	5. Rating: Teen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> nawtsoo said:
> 
> Imagine Koujaku trying to cheer up Aoba with his best impersonation of butler Koujaku back in his Cyan Moon days. Instead of being embarrassed, Aoba play along as the spoiled bocchama and demands Koujaku massage his shoulders and get him water and gets all the more annoyed when Koujaku effortlessly do all he wanted with that killer smile. What should he order Koujaku next?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Koujaku gets a little frisky at the end, and Aoba ends up having a "problem", but nothing graphic happens~

Aoba’s been having shitty days at Heibon lately. The trio of brats keep showing up and breaking things, and there have been multiple calls from people making awkward comments about his voice – just the things that happen on a normal basis. But what’s making these regular occurrences even more irritating lately is the fact that they’ve been happening multiple days in a row – usually he gets a break from these things for a day or two.

By the fifth day, he’s had more than enough.

As soon as he has a moment to himself, after dealing with the phone calls and cleaning up those brats’ mess, he ends up messaging his complaints to Koujaku, just needing a moment to vent about it (even though he’s already been complaining about it to him every day when he gets home, it’s just that this time he’s so frustrated he can’t wait until he gets home to complain about it).

“I’m sorry to hear that,” is the reply he receives shortly after. It’s the same response he’s gotten from him after all of his complaints, but, somehow, such a simple reply is enough to make him feel better.

He sends back a quick “Thanks for listening,” and apologizes for complaining so much lately. He says it’s not a problem and that he’ll see Aoba later when they both get home.

Luckily, the rest of the day isn’t too stressful.

When he gets home (Koujaku’s place since he’s already been staying there for a few days anyway), Koujaku’s not right there to welcome him home by lavishing affection on him like he normally does. Maybe he’s just not home yet.

He carefully takes the sleeping Ren out of his bag as he slips off his shoes, hanging up his jacket and bag afterwards. Really, he’d like to just take a nice nap right now, so he yawns and flops down onto the couch, holding Ren to his chest. For now, he’ll settle for sleeping on the couch; he’d probably sleep longer than he really wants to if he were to take a nap on the bed anyway. After letting out another yawn, he closes his eyes… only to have them immediately pop open again.

“Ao—” Koujaku’s voice, but wait, he didn’t hear the door open. Maybe he’s been here the entire time? Aoba sits up, a little confused when he hears Koujaku clear his throat. He’s acting a little strangely, wearing a light blush on his cheeks. What is he up to?

Also, he has no idea when Koujaku got so close without him even noticing.

“I mean…” he puts on that smile of his, making Aoba blush a little himself, “Welcome home, _young master_ ~” The way Koujaku adds so much emphasis when he calls him that makes him shiver. He doesn’t know if he should feel embarrassed or confused or something else entirely. “It would be my greatest pleasure to serve you.”

Aoba sets Ren down on the cushion next to him, only able to stare wide-eyed back at Koujaku.

“So… how is it – my butler impression?”

He wants to say, “It’s pretty good, actually,” but when he opens his mouth, all that comes out is air.

What _is_ Koujaku doing?

It seems he already knows what Aoba’s thinking, giving a reply to his unspoken inquiry. “Well… you’ve been having some rough days this week, so I thought I would try to cheer you up…” he scratches the back of his head, looking embarrassed, “…even if it’s just… making you laugh or… something…”

Aoba still can’t even say anything; he can only stare at his boyfriend with wide eyes, it’s probably obvious that he’s a little dumbstruck.

“I-is it… no good…?”

Finally, Aoba snaps out of it and shakes his head. Maybe he’ll play along… even if it makes him feel a little strange – it seems like Koujaku really wants him to feel better. But what should he do? Maybe he’ll “order” him to do something, and then they can both laugh about it afterward. A hum vibrates in his chest, thinking hard.

“I could… use a glass of water…?” he meant to say it much more sternly, maybe even a little jokingly, but the initial shock still hasn’t quite worn off, making him sound uncertain.

He’s surprised when Koujaku gives him a big grin and says: “Of course; just a minute.”

Wait. What? Is he actually—

He comes back a few seconds later, handing him a glass of cold water, saying: “Here you are,” and just as before, he puts on that smile of his and calls him “young master” again, adding just as much emphasis as he did when he said it before. He takes the glass, hands a little shaky, and drinks down the water, giving the empty glass back to Koujaku. He promptly takes it back to the kitchen and returns, “Would you like anything else? As I said before… it would be my pleasure to serve you…”

…Oh. This is the point where they should be laughing (actually, that moment passed even before Koujaku brought him some water), but Koujaku’s voice is so _intense_ right now. Should he keep playing along and take it further? How much further?

“Massage my shoulders,” the words are out before he can even decide what to do.

Koujaku’s there in heartbeat, moving to stand behind the couch, putting his hands on Aoba’s shoulders, massaging them with his fingers, applying pressure in all the right places… It feels pretty good, actually, but he can’t think about that now. He can’t believe Koujaku is actually doing the things he’s telling him to. He’s not sure how much further he can let this go – he’s starting to get a little embarrassed now. Plus, the fact that Koujaku will just effortlessly do the things he’s telling him to without an ounce of hesitation is a little irritating.

Except… to have Koujaku doing the things he’s telling him to do does make him feel sort of powerful even if they are just playing along with each other. What else can he get him to do?

“Lower…”

As expected, Koujaku complies immediately, hands gliding down his arms, around to his chest, rubbing gentle circles into it. By now, his heart is beating fast, and Koujaku can probably feel it against his palms.

This is getting a little more than just a little embarrassing… He’s about to open his mouth to express that, but Koujaku leans in, moving his hands down even further, his hot breath tickling Aoba’s neck.

And then Koujaku nibbles on his ear, and Aoba tenses immediately.

“My apologies…” Koujaku’s voice has gotten awfully low and breathy, “am I being too intrusive?” and he’s still speaking in the same manner he was before.

“I—” He doesn’t know if he wants to tell him to stop or to keep going, his thoughts have become a muddled mess.

“What do you need?”

Koujaku’s hands have reached his thighs by now, caressing teasingly close to a certain area. Somehow, his pants seem to have gotten a little tight too… Koujaku is barely even doing anything though; how did he manage to get him like this in such a short amount of time? He mentally reprimands himself for allowing that to happen.

“Aoba…” he seems to have finally given up on the whole “young master” thing, thankfully, “I’ll do anything you like… just tell me what you need… ”

His face is flaring up by now, but he takes a deep breath. If Koujaku wants to know what he “needs” then he’ll tell him.

He pulls away, spinning around to firmly press their mouths together. At first, Koujaku seems a little surprised, but it doesn’t take long for him to start kissing him back.

After a while, Aoba pulls away, looking Koujaku straight in the eye, steeling himself for what he’s about to say next. If Koujaku wants to be a tease… then Aoba will fight fire with fire – it’s never all that difficult for him to get Koujaku all hot and bothered though. To do that this time, he’s going to answer his question, telling him what he needs with a very simple answer:

“I need _you_ … Koujaku…”


	6. Rating: Teen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> anonymous said:
> 
> The second time they're about to do the do, it gets really awkward really fast.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These aren't even "ficlets" anymore, they're complete fanfictions - omg, I'm so sorry.
> 
> **EDIT: spacedragonarmada on tumblr[drew a thinG](http://spacedragonarmada.tumblr.com/post/119229973140/some-fanart-for-koujakuba-cause-her-fic-is-super) FOR THIS AND IT'S REALLY CUTE (their art style is so nice and everyone should seeee iiiiiittt!!!) AND I'M CRYING.**

They haven’t seen each other much for about a week, exchanging awkward small talk whenever they spoke (be it through abnormally clumsy text or when they would run into each other on the street), and Koujaku hasn’t even shown up at his house for food unannounced like he normally would. It’s almost as if they’re avoiding each other, both unsure as to how they’re supposed to act around each other now. So, it was a little strange when Koujaku came to see him at Heibon near the end of his shift for the day.  
  
“Y-yo,” despite entering the store with his usual cool demeanor, he ends up stuttering, his voice cracking a little when he tries to greet Aoba. Of course, Aoba’s greeting is no different, just as soft and clumsy.  
  
“H-hey…”  
  
Things are definitely different now, there’s a definite and completely conspicuous awkwardness between them. He never wanted to acknowledge that though, always forcing himself to think about something else or continuously try to convince himself otherwise. Nothing’s awkward; everything is the same as it’s always been.  
  
But there’s the proof right there staring him in the face - obviously, Koujaku knows it’s true too, he’s probably been doing the same thing, trying to tell himself that everything’s fine and just the way it’s always been.  
  
But things aren’t the way they’ve always been - things are definitely a little strange. Aoba knows when these changes took place, he knows the exact date, but he doesn’t want to admit that either.  
  
Everything changed so drastically in one evening - that evening Koujaku came clean about the final secret he’d been keeping from him, that evening Aoba realized he felt more than an admiration one feels for their “hero”, and a love other than one for a close and precious friend, that evening they—  
  
Ever since _that_ happened, he’s been thinking about it a lot, thinking about himself, thinking about Koujaku, thinking about a lot of things. At some point, he realized he liked doing that with him; it felt like something more than just sex, something deeper - like he liked that feeling of being connected to Koujaku in such a way, kissing him, hugging him, it all felt… nice, and, it’s embarrassing, but…  
  
He wants to be able to do that again.  
  
How is he supposed to bring something like that up to Koujaku though? It’s far too embarrassing, far too embarrassing to even think about. And what if Koujaku doesn’t feel the same way? What if in the week they’ve barely had any contact with each other he changed his mind, he misunderstood his own feelings, and he decided what they did was a mistake? What if saying anything to Koujaku about wanting to be close and intimate with him like that again makes Koujaku think he’s… a pervert?  
  
He knows that won’t happen though, or at least that it’s very unlikely - he’s always been able to tell Koujaku everything, talk about anything that’s bothering him without worrying about being judged, knowing he will listen, so this shouldn’t be any different, right? They can talk about this too, can’t they?  
  
There have even been nights where he thought about it too hard, causing him to lie awake, unable to go to sleep, just staring up at the ceiling, his heart beating so fast he could feel it in his throat. He’d grab at his coil, willing his fingers to send Koujaku a message saying he wants to talk about it, or even call him. But he never could, far too nervous, overthinking everything. He even had the message completely written out once, reading it over and over, making sure it said exactly what he wanted it to, making sure it made sense before shakily deleting it before he could send it, mentally cursing himself for being so foolishly afraid and then tossing his coil to the floor and curling up in a ball, trying to get as small as he could.  
  
It’s like he’s a love-struck teenager, and he hates feeling that way.  
  
“Sorry… I—” Koujaku’s voice manages to pull him back to reality, but not before a bright blush has made a home for itself across his entire face. He notices that Koujaku’s not looking at him, looking slightly off to the side of him instead, occasionally messing with his bangs like he’s trying to hide himself behind them or something.  
  
After uncharacteristically fumbling around for a few seconds, he clears his throat and finally speaks again. “Are you… almost done with your shift?”  
  
“Uh… yeah, I’m just waiting for Haga-san to get back and then… I’m done…”  
  
“Ah, good because I… thought we could meet up at my place… because…” he lets out a long sigh, “there’s… something I want to talk to you about…”  
  
Hearing that makes Aoba’s heart race, his head throb, he feels dizzy, lightheaded, like he’s going to pass out or throw up - or both. And Koujaku notices, of course; he’s always been way too good at noticing how Aoba is feeling.  
  
“I’d like to say: ‘don’t worry, it’s nothing serious!’ but…” his gaze slowly shifts to the floor, and it looks like his face is growing redder and redder by the second, “I’m not sure if that’s the case…”  
  
Oh. He feels even worse now.  
  
Is this Koujaku wanting to break up with him? Wait, are they even dating - _can_ he break up with him? What are they to each other now? What is their relationship with each other? He’s panicking and he can’t seem to stop himself; he wants to say something, but he doesn’t know what he wants to say, he can’t seem to open his mouth anyway.  
  
For a second, it looks like Koujaku is about to laugh and say something along the lines of “Just kidding! It’s nothing serious - it’s just a joke,” like he normally would; he starts to open his mouth like that is, in fact, what he’s going to do. But, instead, he bites his lip and keeps quiet.  
  
“Y-yeah, ok,” it’s his own voice, he can feel his mouth moving, forming the words, but it doesn’t feel like he’s the one talking, “there’s… something I want to talk to you about too…” It’s surprising his heart hasn’t exploded or burst out of his chest by now, it’s also sort of an accomplishment that he hasn’t collapsed yet either.  
  
Koujaku noticeably swallows, and puts on his usual smile. Well, he tries to, but there’s a somewhat vacant look on his face, like he’s… scared? Nervous? It’s a bit difficult to tell. “Then… I’ll see you later?”  
  
“Yeah… I’ll meet you there - at… your place - later.”  
  
He doesn’t bother telling Koujaku that he could probably just wait for a little while (possibly for only a few minutes), tell him that Haga-san shouldn’t be gone for much longer, and then they could go together. But he’s unable to, he can’t even open his mouth, waving awkwardly instead as Koujaku mutters a quick “goodbye” and leaves almost too quickly, like he’s in a hurry.  
  
Yeah, things have definitely gotten very awkward between them… Is it because everything happened so fast? Maybe they should have taken things a bit slower…  
  
“Aoba,” Ren pops his head out of his bag, the AllMate actually startling him a little, “Are you feeling all right? Your heart rate has increased considerably - I noticed it happened as soon as I heard Koujaku’s voice.”  
  
“Ah, that— U-um…” he frowns, letting the entire conversation repeat in his head, before reaching to pat the puppy’s head, trying everything to calm himself down, “Yeah, I’m fine… Don’t worry about it, Ren…”  
  
He breathes a heavy sigh and tries almost unsuccessfully to act like he’s not panicking as much as he is, trying to feign normality when Haga-san walks in about 15 minutes later to tell him he can go home.  
  
Normally, he’d be relieved, happy to go home for the day, but, after what just happened, he finds himself feeling reluctant, almost wishing it wasn’t time for him to leave yet, wanting to put off whatever is going to happen at Koujaku’s place for as long as possible…  
  


* * *

  
He stands in front of Koujaku’s door, his hand raised to knock on it or ring the doorbell - even he doesn’t know, his heart is beating just as strongly as it was at Heibon when Koujaku was there. It took much longer to get here than it usually does; he kept dragging his feet and having to reassure Ren that he’s fine, that nothing’s wrong.  
  
Why is he panicking so much? He doesn’t even know what Koujaku wants to talk about…  
  
_“I’d like to say: ‘don’t worry, it’s nothing serious!’ but… I’m not sure if that’s the case…”_  
  
He heard that with every step he took, replaying over and over in his mind even now.  
  
This is weird, it’s so weird. He and Koujaku don’t have serious talks, they have childish talks filled with jokes, or reminisce about things from their childhood, or encourage each other when one of them is feeling down. Things are definitely more complicated now… Maybe they shouldn’t have—  
  
He shakes his head. No, he doesn’t regret what happened, and he meant what he said then - he actually does… love Koujaku. He blushes thinking that, but it is true; he loves him a lot and Koujaku’s very important to him, he’s realized that much.  
  
Maybe he wants to talk about the same things Aoba’s been worrying himself over? Maybe he’s just as uncertain as to what they are now as Aoba is and he wants to talk about that, get it out in the open to figure it out together. That must be it; it would be a huge weight off his chest if it is.  
  
Finally, he rings the doorbell, deciding to hurry up and get it over with before he thinks about something else and loses his nerve, later having to send Koujaku a message with some lame excuse that he got sick and had to hurry home or something.  
  
It doesn’t take long for the door to open.  
  
“Ah—” for some reason, Koujaku looks surprised but only for a moment, putting on his usual smile and doing a much better job of it than he did not much earlier today. “Aoba, thanks for coming over…”  
  
“Uh, yeah…” Despite how hard he tries to fight them, the awkward feelings come seeping back, and they seem to rub off onto Koujaku rather quickly - he scratches his head and looks away, his smile fading and a light blush forming.  
  
“Well… C-come in…?”  
  
“Y-yeah… Ok—”  
  
He enters quickly, slipping off his shoes, his jacket, setting his bag down next to them. Ren’s in sleep-mode and Aoba holds him tightly, nervously, like cradling him will help calm him down; it doesn’t help that being in someone else’s home always makes him feel a little uncomfortable, even if it is Koujaku’s - a place he’s been to numerous times before. He’s prepared for Beni to fly up to him seemingly from out of nowhere, maybe even crash into his head to greet him, but, after looking around he can’t spot the little bird anywhere - he must be sleeping somewhere. Somehow, even that makes him a little uncomfortable.  
  
And just then, he swears he sees Koujaku lean towards him - it’s a very slight movement, barely even noticeable - before jerking away, and hurriedly muttering an apology, his face redder than before.  
  
It’s like… Koujaku was going to kiss him or something? Or maybe not, maybe he’s just thinking too much again. He tries not to think about it and forces himself to sit on the couch, joined by Koujaku shortly after.  
  
And then nothing.  
  
They sit together in silence, Aoba can feel the tension in the air, he notices how Koujaku keeps fidgeting - at least he didn’t seat himself far away from him this time, but it’s all just like before when things changed, the atmosphere just as distressing.  
  
Why does it have to be like this again? It makes him just as uncomfortable as it did before… Should he say something? They’d probably just end up speaking at the same time again, which would lead to him feeling even more uncomfortable. So, he bites his lip, hoping Koujaku will speak up.  
  
Thankfully, he gets his wish.  
  
“Aoba, I… what happened before - what happened… the last time we were together…”  
  
It feels like his heart has stopped.  
  
So Koujaku _does_ want to talk about that. He’s not sure if he should feel relieved or scared - they’re either going to get this out of the way so things can maybe start to go back to normal between them or… all the things he’s been tiring himself out worrying over will come true.  
  
It takes a while, Koujaku visibly grows more and more uncomfortable, nervous even, before finally speaking up again.  
  
“Do you… regret it?”  
  
Of course he doesn’t, he said that to himself before, so he doesn’t even hesitate.  
  
“No.” But the question forms within his own mind, he’d thought it a few times, so he has to ask too, “Do… you…?”  
  
“Of course not,” his tone is steady, certain of its words, and he didn’t hesitate either, lifting a huge weight off Aoba’s chest, “I meant what I said to you…”  
  
“…M-me too…”  
  
“Really?”  
  
“Y-yeah.” For some reason, he laughs, be it from nerves or relief, even he has no idea. “I’m sort of relieved… that you’ve been worrying about the same thing I have…”  
  
“You were worried about the same thing?”  
  
“Yeah… I… even lost sleep over it…” Aoba laughs again, but it’s softer, more nervous-sounding than before.  
  
It startles him a little when Koujaku suddenly laughs too. “Then why didn’t you say something? I’ve been driving myself crazy…”  
  
“I… wasn’t sure how to say it, besides, you didn’t say anything either, so it’s your fault too…”  
  
“I guess that’s true.”  
  
This is easier than he thought it would be, it’s still sort of awkward, but it’s not as bad as he thought it would be. Why didn’t he say anything sooner? They could have gotten this out of the way and he wouldn’t have worried so much.  
  
“S-so… can I… ask you something then…?”  
  
Aoba raises an eyebrow, suspicious of Koujaku’s sudden change of tone, suddenly realizing that he shouldn’t think things won’t be as embarrassing as he thought just yet.  
  
“What is it?”  
  
“I… I’ve been thinking about this for a while, after that day we… became something else… I’ve been thinking about it almost every day…”  
  
“J-just say it already…”  
  
Koujaku takes a deep breath before letting it out slowly, and Aoba feels his nerves begin to kick up again, coming back with a vengeance.  
  
“Can I… kiss you…?”  
  
Aoba’s shocked, reflecting that with a sharp intake of air; for some reason, he was half expecting Koujaku to say something else, not expecting him to ask something as innocent as that. Immediately, Aoba feels embarrassed - Koujaku’s train of thought went somewhere relatively pure, while Aoba’s… Well, it went somewhere a little more corrupt. Maybe he is a pervert…  
  
A kiss should be fine though, right? After giving a quick nod, he moves himself a little closer to the other man, feeling like there are butterflies or bubbles fluttering around in his chest (it’s weird that he feels this way, and he sort of wants to laugh about it), allowing Koujaku better access to him.  
  
It’s very light, soft, tender - really they’re just pressing their lips together; it’s a lot like the very first kiss they shared. Koujaku’s hands end up cupping his face, almost without him noticing, carefully holding it in place. The moment feels like it’s going to go on for an eternity, but he doesn’t know if he’s embarrassed or… what.  
  
And then finally, Koujaku pulls away just a little, pressing their foreheads together.  
  
“I’ve been wanting to do that for a while…” it’s hard to ignore the smile on his face, how happy he looks just from that one little kiss - he looks kind of cute…  
  
“Hippo…”  
  
“Aobaaa…” there’s a hint of laughter in his voice, but it fades away quickly. “Can I… kiss you again…?”  
  
Now things are getting a little embarrassing… but he’s not going to tell him “no.” Like he told himself before, he liked kissing Koujaku before so…  
  
He nods again, “Yeah…”  
  
Their lips join again, and this time, Koujaku is moving to deepen it, nipping at his bottom lip with his lips (even a few times with his teeth), before pressing them together again. Aoba can feel his heart begin to pound as one hand travels away from his face, moving down his arm to grasp onto his hand. Koujaku’s tongue suddenly prods between his lips, but just as he’s about to part them to let it in, Koujaku pulls away again, just like before to press their foreheads together.  
  
“Can I kiss you some more?”  
  
Aoba jerks away this time.  
  
“Y-you don’t need to keep asking!”  
  
“But I want to.”  
  
“Wh-why?!”  
  
“Because it’s clearly making you embarrassed - it’s really cute.”  
  
“Y-you…”  
  
“But what you said - that I don’t need to keep asking… Does that mean I can kiss you whenever I want?”  
  
“I— Y-yeah… When we’re here or… in my room, I guess… it’s fine…”  
  
“Really?”  
  
Aoba gives a quick nod, “Yeah…”  
  
“Good… because… I want to do it a lot - whenever I can.”  
  
“S-seriously! Stop saying that kind of thing!”  
  
Just as he thinks Koujaku is about to say something else, he frowns suddenly instead, tearing his gaze away, his face growing redder by the second.  
  
“There’s something else I want to ask you, and… I’m not sure how to say it other than… just saying it straightforwardly… even though it’s probably going to make you mad, but I have to say it…”  
  
“What is it…?”  
  
Koujaku doesn’t say anything for a while, and it seems like he’s unable to look Aoba in the face any longer, staring at his shoulder instead. The longer he delays saying whatever it is he wants to say causes Aoba’s anxieties to come back…  
  
“I want to… touch you… like before…”  
  
And then he can’t even respond, he just stares back at Koujaku with wide eyes.  
  
“Wh-what I’m trying to say is… would you ever want to… be with me in that way again - would you… let me make love to you again…?”  
  
“I-I—” Out of all of the possible ways Koujaku could have said it, why did he have to say it like _that_? “Don’t… say stuff like that!”  
  
“I’m being serious! I liked being with you… like that, so… I want to know… if you did too - if you would ever want to… do it some more—”  
  
“I…” It doesn’t matter that he’s been thinking about that too, it doesn’t matter that he liked it too, or that he does want to do it some more, it’s still difficult for him to admit it… But he needs to, they need to sort this out, so, somehow, he manages to force himself to speak. “…Y-yeah… I liked it too…”  
  
“Really?”  
  
“Yeah… and I… want to d-do it with you again too…”  
  
Koujaku doesn’t say anything after that, wearing a blank expression on his face, staring either at the floor or the air occupying the space above it, looking very much like he’s having trouble processing this moment, mostly having trouble with what Aoba just said to him.  
  
It’s like he’s having trouble believing it’s real, that he’s actually awake right now and not off in some dream-world.  
  
It’s at that moment that Aoba realizes he knows these things because he’s staring really, _really_ intensely at Koujaku’s face. He immediately forces his gaze elsewhere, maybe that same indiscernible spot Koujaku is staring at.  
  
How embarrassing…  
  
“…Do you want to right now?”  
  
All air within his lungs forces itself out, even though he’s not entirely certain what the other means by that (he knows, he knows exactly what Koujaku means, but he’s going to pretend he doesn’t - maybe it’ll somehow be less embarrassing that way?)  
  
“I… I mean…” he clears his throat then, messing with his bangs again. It seems like he’s going to say something else, but he never does, letting his words hang uncomfortably in the air.  
  
It’s so surreal how this happens to Koujaku, how quickly he can shift moods. Just moments ago Koujaku was kissing him and intentionally trying to embarrass him, and now he’s fumbling around just like earlier today. It’s his second time seeing him this way, but it isn’t any less bizarre than it was before. Aoba’s certain this is something that only happens around him; he’s seen Koujaku with women, how confident he is, how forward and supposedly “charming” he is, having no problems saying the most ridiculous things, putting an arm around the girl(s) he’s speaking to while wearing that smooth lady-killer smile that makes them all swoon (for some reason, even thinking about events where those things have happened causes a strange tight sensation to bubble up within his chest, like he’s uncomfortable or angry and wants to scream - where did that come from?), but with Aoba, he stutters, he blushes, he can’t look him in the eyes for more than a few seconds - he acts like a love-struck teenager.  
  
…It’s kind of cute though.  
  
“S-sorry, I don’t mean for these things to come out sounding so… weird. I just…” he visibly swallows, and rubs his neck, still unable to look Aoba in the face, “I don’t know how I’m supposed to… talk to you about something like this…”  
  
Aoba shakes his head, wanting to say that it’ s all right, that he understands, that he has no idea how they’re supposed to handle this either, but his heart is pounding so hard right now, when he opens his mouth to try to say those things, all that comes out is air.  
  
Koujaku sighs loudly, obviously becoming frustrated. “Sorry, I’ll just say it directly…”  
  
He’s not sure what it is about that statement that fills him with dread. It’s not like he doesn’t already know what Koujaku is trying to say (especially since he’s already absentmindedly blurted it out once), it’s not like he hasn’t had those thoughts himself, or that he hasn’t been planning on trying to talk to Koujaku about this for the past few days, the sleepless nights that made him feel so embarrassed and weird and sort of like a pervert.  
  
“Aoba…”  
  
He’s not sure when it happened, but he notices that Koujaku’s warm hand is curled around his own again, and… is it shaking? He’s so nervous… that blush spread across his face is even more noticeable than before.  
  
Koujaku takes a deep breath, and, meanwhile, Aoba feels like his body has forgotten how to breathe.  
  
“Will you let me make love to you again today - right now?”  
  
Why does he have to keep wording it like that? He should expect it, it is Koujaku after all and he’s known for all sorts of embarrassing things spilling out of his mouth, but, somehow, it keeps catching him off guard. Aoba should know better but no amount of mental preparation could have prepared him for it.  
  
But right now? He wants to experience that closeness with Koujaku again, but _right now_? It’s the middle of the day, he just barely finished his shift at Heibon, because of that, he’d like to rest for at least a little while, and he’s kind of hungry… He’s fine with doing it again today, but maybe they should wait until later—  
  
Except it seems he’s already unconsciously nodding his head “yes”.  
  
Oh.  
  
His chest warms up as soon as he sees all the stress melt away from Koujaku’s face, being replaced by a warm and genuinely happy smile.  
  
“Really?”  
  
“Y-yeah…”  
  
And then silence again, uncomfortable silence. But soon, Koujaku gives him another smile and stands up, extending a hand out to him. Aoba blinks a few times, his heart is racing so fast now he feels like he’s going to faint, and he just stares at Koujaku’s hand like it’s some strange foreign object, his brain is unable to fully realize what he just consented to and unable to realize that Koujaku just wants him to take his hand.  
  
“Come on then…” Koujaku’s voice is low and smoky, soothing, causing shivers to rush down his spine.  
  
Why is he suddenly so nervous? His heart is still racing so fast it’s making him sick, his entire body is shaking by now—  
  
It’ll be fine. It’s just Koujaku, and they’ve done this before. This is something that he’s wanted to do again and thought about for a while (as embarrassing as that is), and, thankfully, he wasn’t the only one thinking about it.  
  
It’ll be fine. He takes a deep breath, and, somehow, he’s able to smile too.  
  
And then he takes hold of the hand stretched out before him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I... I wrote the porn for this one. If you wanna read it, it's right [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/3763471)~
> 
> ~~It got really long and I was aiming for a "mature" rating but it ended up as "explicit" so I posted it as a new thing... pffftt-- OTL~~


	7. Rating: Teen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> nawtsoo said:
> 
> Aoba stares at Koujaku's sleeping face. He seldom wake up early than his lover so he just enjoy the moment quietly as he study the older man's scars and small details. Koujaku is in big need of a shave. Why are his nails super clean and well trimmed? Is his trying a new type of shampoo again? oh well, at least this one smells nicer than the previous one. Damn it, Koujaku smells good...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this one really quickly... it... it was weird because it usually takes me _forever_ to finish something (even short stuff).  
>  I just... _I love sleepy, cuddly KouAo stuff, man..._

Aoba groans when he opens his eyes, lids heavy and sore with fatigue - it’s definitely too early to be awake. He reaches out, his hand blindly patting around every area it touches in search of his coil. Eventually, he finds it, moving it closer to his dry and stinging eyes to check the time.  
  
6:30 a.m.  
  
Yeah, it’s definitely way too early for him to be awake right now, he does need to get up early today, he has to work, but he doesn’t need to get up _this_ early. With a heavy sigh, he slams his coil back down (a little too hard, but it doesn’t seem like it was hard enough to break it, so that’s good) and flops his face into the pillow, squeezing his eyes shut, deciding he’s going to try to go back to sleep as soon as possible.  
  
There’s some movement behind him, a low groan, and an arm comes up to circle around his waist, and, for a split second, he’s surprised, he forgot he’s not alone in this bed. His eyes pop back open and he holds his breath - did his little outburst wake up Koujaku? Not that he cares if it did, that jerk is always waking him up…  
  
The arm around his waist relaxes and he hears a soft sigh, breath tickling the back of his neck, making him shiver. After that though, there’s nothing, no lethargic chuckles, no soft and delicate kisses against the back of his neck, the top of his head, no “Why are you awake so early?” in an overly sweet yet gravelly tone of voice. Maybe he really didn’t wake his boyfriend up; he decides to roll over to lie on his other side to make sure.  
  
And it’s true, Koujaku isn’t awake, his face is relaxed and he’s breathing softly. His hair is messy, covering his face more so than usual, and, despite seeing him like this so many times by now, Aoba struggles to suppress a laugh. Koujaku has his moments of looking cute and right now is definitely one of them (the thought makes Aoba frown to himself - it seems like certain parts of Koujaku’s personality are rubbing off on him…)  
  
Except it’s also kind of annoying that he’s sleeping so soundly while Aoba is awake right now. That jerk… But it’s all right, it’s not often he’s able to wake up before Koujaku, so, even though it’s so appallingly early, he decides he’ll take some time to enjoy this moment.  
  
…Yeah, parts of Koujaku are definitely rubbing off on him.  
  
He reaches out to brush the silky hair out of the older male’s face (parts of his skin are a little bristly, Koujaku definitely needs to shave…), tucking it behind his ear. His mouth curves into a frown when he uncovers the dark markings on his face, and his fingertips trace over it without thinking. There’s so much trapped inside this tattoo, inside the mark across his nose, and all of the other tattoos and scars spread across his entire body - frustration, sorrow, self-hatred… There’s so much that, whenever Aoba thinks about it, tears well up in his eyes, and this time is no different. He tries to wipe them away with the back of his hand before they can roll down his cheeks, and he succeeds for the most part.  
  
It’s surprising how much learning about Koujaku’s past, the parts he missed when Koujaku had to leave, has affected him - it’s as if those things hurt him more than anything ever has (that’s probably a sappy exaggeration, but that’s how he honestly feels sometimes).  
  
Knowing that one of the strongest people he’s ever known was hurt so much is so… painful.  
  
He shouldn’t be thinking about these things, he should be sleeping right now. Except he doesn’t think he can go back to sleep now, just _looking_ at Koujaku has brought up so many feelings that he’s wide awake. Maybe he can focus on something else, something that doesn’t make him feel so… sad.  
  
Some of the black hair he so carefully tucked away has fallen back into Koujaku’s face, and he reaches for it, wanting to brush it away again. Instead, he ends up gathering a bit of it between his fingers, caressing it between them. It’s really soft… not that it usually isn’t, it’s always soft, always slides through his fingers so easily, always smells and feels really clean.  
  
But it smells different today than it usually does. Maybe he’s using a different kind of shampoo? One with some sort of… floral scent? He can’t place exactly what it smells like, but it smells good, better than the last kind he tried and that one smelled pretty good too. He vaguely remembers him saying something like that - that he found a new type of shampoo to test out - but he can’t remember any details from the conversation. It’s embarrassing, but, at the time, he was focusing more on Koujaku’s face when he told him about it, the way it lit up, the way he spoke so impassionedly - he was so excited, so happy, and it made Aoba happy to see him that way.  
  
It was cute—  
  
He scowls when he reminds himself that _he was going to go back to sleep_. He lets out another heavy sigh and attempts to get more comfortable, pressing closer to his lover’s body, feeling his warmth, his scent - damn he smells good…  
  
_No_. No more focusing on these things, it’s getting ridiculous. He jerks his head away and quickly rolls back onto his other side - he just wants to go back to sleep—  
  
“Aoba…?”  
  
Oh no…  
  
He hears a yawn, feels that arm around his waist tighten, pulling him closer. Goosebumps raise all across his skin as Koujaku presses a light kiss to the back of his neck before nestling his stubbly face into the skin there.  
  
“You’re awake really early today… Is something wrong…?” his voice is really low, words slurred from drowsiness.  
  
“Ah, n-nothing’s wrong, I just… couldn’t sleep…”  
  
Koujaku doesn’t seem to notice his stuttering, either that or he doesn’t pay it any mind, instead he places another kiss to the back of the blue-haired male’s neck, and lets out a soft breath. He doesn’t say anything else, it seems like he’s already gone back to sleep, and, for whatever reason, Aoba is relieved. It’s startling when he does speak again.  
  
“Let me see your face.”  
  
Aoba bites his lip, hesitating, but slowly does as he’s told, rolling over to lie on his other side again. There’s a sleepy half-smile on Koujaku’s face, and it makes his cheeks heat up, makes his chest feel warm.  
  
Great, there are the “Koujaku looks cute” thoughts again…  
  
Koujaku’s hand comes up to stroke his fingers across Aoba’s heated cheek, before leaning forward to press a warm kiss to his forehead. That hand then moves to Aoba’s shoulder, sliding down his arm to grasp his hand. His heart begins to race when Koujaku raises that hand to his lips, placing soft kisses on his fingers, his knuckles, the back of his hand.  
  
Aoba bites his lip when he realizes he’s staring at Koujaku’s fingers all while he’s doing this, appreciating how warm his hand is, noting how clean and well-trimmed his fingernails are, feeling those pangs of sadness try to come back to the surface when he glimpses the scars. And then there’s embarrassment when he finds himself in awe of how… beautiful and long his fingers are, and he swallows hard.  
  
Koujaku places one more kiss to Aoba’s hand, and then he moves both of their hands to rest comfortably between them, shifting his hand to entwine their fingers together.  
  
“Let’s go back to sleep…”  
  
That’s not what he was expecting Koujaku to say, thought he would say they should do something _else_ since they’re both already awake, but he’s relieved - that’s all he wants, what he’s been trying to do this entire time… So he gives a quick nod and moves his body closer to the older male’s, lets Koujaku nuzzle his face into the crown of his head.  
  
It’s probably a good thing that he doesn’t normally wake up before Koujaku, he doesn’t think his heart, now beating so quickly and feeling so warm, would be able to handle it if it happened more often.


	8. Rating: Teen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Koujackoo said:
> 
> Imagine Aoba playing with Koujaku’s hair like giving him plaits or mucking about with rollers or threading daisy chains into it :3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's taking me so long to get through all of these because I am just... bad at existing... OTL
> 
> Also, there are some references to the drama CD in this one~

The day Koujaku finally let Aoba cut his hair quickly came and went, though, in the end, Aoba didn’t do anything fancy or complicated, he only trimmed off the ends (the younger male won’t admit it, but Koujaku knows it’s because Aoba was too nervous to do anything else). Before that though, Koujaku taught him a few things about handling hair, and it seems playing with Koujaku’s hair has become a habit. Koujaku always finds himself inwardly laughing when Aoba absentmindedly starts gliding his fingers through his hair.  
  
And tonight is no different.  
  
Once Koujaku returns from a quick shower, Aoba’s fingers seek out his hair and comb through it as soon as the older male seats himself next to him on the bed, and Koujaku does nothing to prevent it from happening. With a soft chuckle, he even moves to seat himself on the floor instead to allow the smaller male better access to it, and Aoba shifts to sit cross-legged at the edge of the bed to continue his affections. A content sigh escapes through Koujaku’s nose, his full focus going to the feeling of Aoba’s fingers sliding through his hair with ease. It doesn’t seem like he has any sort of set plan of what he’s going to do, really he’s only touching and playing with the freshly washed and dried dark strands. Koujaku’s eyelids suddenly become heavy and he allows them to close, beginning to doze off before he even realizes it.  
  
The sound of snickering a few moments later is enough to wake him back up.  
  
“Oi, what are you doing back there…?” he can’t help but notice the thick grogginess in his own voice. He also notices the absence of the younger male’s hands in his hair and he misses their careful touches immediately, but he has no recollection of them actually leaving it - how long was he asleep?  
  
“I’m not doing anything~”  
  
“Really? Then why are you giggling like that?”  
  
“Because you fell asleep again, you old man.”  
  
“I’m not old yet, idiot— Besides, you really are good with your hands - it’s relaxing… so I can’t help it.”  
  
“Kyaaah, Koujaku-san complimented me - I’m so happy!”  
  
That high-pitched voice and mock excitement bring out a scoff. He’s about to tell Aoba he’s a little shit, but something in the nearby mirror catches his attention. It distracts him from Aoba’s teasing, causing him to shift just enough to look into it, finding that Aoba has put a big braid in his black hair. It’s definitely nowhere near perfect and it’s a bit sloppy, there are stray hairs sticking out here and there, but it was definitely put together with a lot of care and that brings a smile to his face.  
  
“I think I did a good job,” Aoba is definitely feeling proud of himself, portraying that with a singsong tone of voice and it widens the smile on Koujaku’s face, coaxes out a soft chuckle.  
  
“You did,” he sort of feels like a parent praising a child and the younger male seems to think so too and lets out a scoff. Koujaku already knows Aoba is rolling his eyes even without being able to see them, but the annoyance is quickly lost and Aoba speaks again with a sense of excitement in his words.  
  
“Mn… Next time, I think I’ll mess with some rollers— I wonder how a curly-haired Koujaku would look? Or maybe— E-eh? Why are you laughing?!”  
  
It was nothing but a hushed chuckle at first, but with every word Aoba spoke Koujaku’s laugh gained more energy and forced itself from his mouth. “Because shouldn’t  _I_ be saying those kinds of things?”  
  
“W-well… that’s— Um…”  
  
“But, if you like playing with my hair, I’m happy - it’s nice to be on the receiving end for once.”  
  
“It’s… probably just your dumb habits rubbing off on me—”  
  
“If you really meant what you said before – about wanting to try other things with it… I’ll help you.”  
  
There’s a soft gasp from Aoba, and it takes a moment for him to respond, his voice coming out small when he finally does, “R-really…?”  
  
“Of course. You’re my pupil now, right? So I better teach you everything I know—” he lets out a laugh and a light sound of mock pain when Aoba lightly smacks the side of his head as soon as those words leave his mouth, knowing the blue-haired male is likely rolling his eyes again. He pivots his body enough to see Aoba and flashes him a smile, “Besides, you liking to play with my hair is really cute~” and there’s that scowl he’s grown so familiar with, the one that reeks of “Shut up, you hippo!”  
  
“T-tonight you’re really—”  
  
But Koujaku doesn’t allow him to finish, raising himself to seal his mouth over Aoba’s irritated frown, traps his words between their lips. His scarred fingers tangle within Aoba’s hair, laying light caresses across his scalp. He still worries about hurting Aoba when he does this regardless of the younger male’s constant assurances that all sensation in his hair has nearly faded completely - he’s careful out of habit, careful out of fear that he could do something to have this privilege taken away. Their mouths continue to brush against each other, and he tries to gather up at least a little of the affections he’s built up through the years he forced himself to hide them away and pass them on to Aoba through these gentle movements. He almost feels like he succeeded at least little bit when a content sigh is pressed to his mouth, and he finds himself feeling giddy.  
  
When he finally pulls away, a light blush has joined the lessened scowl on Aoba’s face, and Koujaku can’t help placing a few kisses to his forehead, only pretending to ignore the light mutters of “hippo”.  
  
“You really did do a great job with my hair.”  
  
“Ah… Well… I just did what you showed me a while ago… you don’t need to flatter me…”  
  
“It’s not flattery, you really did well. And I’ve decided something…” he moves to sit next to Aoba, watches his face glow an even brighter shade of red, watching as he begins to fidget and avoid eye contact. Koujaku gives him another smile and twirls a few strands of blue hair around his index finger.  
  
“I _definitely_ can’t let you make anyone else feel this way.”  
  
The short-haired male allows him to kiss him again, slips his arms around his neck and clumsily falls backward, pulling Koujaku down with him. It was definitely an accident but the younger male does nothing about it, seems to play it off as something he intended to happen by nipping at Koujaku’s bottom lip with his teeth.  
  
All Koujaku can do is smile one more time.  
  
When Aoba said he wanted Koujaku to let him cut his hair, he never expected it to lead to Aoba spontaneously playing with his hair, never expected it to form into a habit either. He can say with full certainty that it’s a habit he’s going to find impossible to dislike.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Like always, every single kudos, comment, and bookmark are greatly appreciated~


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